What if depression is my primary identity?

What if I've woken up defeated one day and said this is me and that's it, end of story

What if my gut feelings and my depression are so intertwined that I don't know wrong from right 

What if I find it easier to stay where I am 

Would it be so bad

Then the days come where the drastic events unfold and I realize why that staying stagnant will not get me where I want 

That greener grasses, warm deserts with a refreshing pond in the damn middle is not a distant possibility, depression has been reading the stories morphing the endings and exaggerating the will and motivation needed to get there, because it only takes one single choice at a time, it only takes one small decision a day for your day to day to sway in a different direction even if only momentarily

That you don't have to be living a fairytail where you're the princess and the villain is always intertwined with your destiny, with your story, or where you actually turn out to be the villain out of a very tragic, traumatizing backstory because I don't want a fairy tail, I don't want to be the villain of someone's story, I want peace and I want to have what I desire, to be free to make choices, to switch things up if need be, I never want to be stuck if I can help it