thoughts

i chose to say no to my thoughts today not because they were essentially damaging or trauma inducing but because i needed to and because i need a reminder that i can. that sometimes my brain's default is to think of everything and it especially favors the past in ways that damage my present and future. this acts as a setback rather than setting up a foundation for me to heal. right now i chose to heal because i need to use the time i have and use it wisely for I don't know what the future brings and i need the strength of my mind to be prepared for events that i know will be particularly destructive if i let them be. i chose to say no to the thoughts of people because i should be thinking of me and what i need in the present moment. i need to learn how my brain operates on default and adapt it by questioning it rather than letting it run freely. i need to remind it that some thoughts have been thought of enough for that day, sometimes its going to need to be a reminder that those thoughts are no longer welcome and that i do not want them to be replaced by another that is not about me. this will not be easy none of it is but it is my responsibility i owe this to my brain, its been subjected to alot.