I will be, I am

I have to remember
There will be days where I can do anything but remember
There will be days where my memories will be used against me
They will remind of times with people that are no longer in my life
I will regret every actions I did not do, what I should have done
I will be telling myself that it is not too late, that everything is fixable
But to say so I would be lying
If the person is no longer with me, things are done, it is over
Trying to fix something that is already over is pointless regardless of what happened
I don't know why I want to fix things, I want to fix my actions, my mistakes but I cannot live constantly wanting to go back and fixing things because they cannot always be fixed
I need to learn how to be okay with it, I cannot dwell on my mistakes because they were there so that I could learn and become a better person
I need to acknowledge that it happened, that I wasn't the best version of myself and that's going to happen because not everyone is going to bring out the best in you
You have to be learn how to be okay with that person that makes those mistakes because she is trying so damn hard all the time
Because she is a big part of who you will be, that person is why you are going to be a great person for yourself some day
Her pains make you stronger every day, she will one day be the reason that you learn to empathize and I know it's troublesome right now but in a few months or years you'll be able to empathize again, you just need to heal your wounds as you continue to learn