the angry & the reaction

Right now it's difficult, but remember this is momentary. what you are feeling right now, this is a normal human reaction to events and people that upset you. This is in no way representative of your everyday present life and it is not indicative of what your future holds. Do not let your mind trick you into thinking so because you know very well where that slippery slope ends and we will inevitably go there sometimes but fear not, we are working on that. Everyone has their moments, their tests, their challenges. Shit happens love and all i can say is remember to say fuck it and come at it with an intensity not one with anger but one where you question why this event or person is causing this reaction. Think about how to help you and what you can do but the last thing you should ever do is react on it immediately, you have a brain remember that the best use you can give it, to prevent immediate actions. You have fought too much to live, to succeed, to accomplish, whether it takes every sense of discomfort known to you, Challenge yourself because your satisfaction, your happiness lies at the other side of this. It is exhausting I know and I know all these challenges sound daunting. But take one at a time but if you have to take on more be prepared. I know you wish you wouldn't have to be lonely through all of this but you've been lonely before. But remember there is difference between being lonely and being alone, I'll be damned if I say that I'm ever alone. Because I am not, they might not be here in person but they exist and they are there to remind you that you are cared about and supported. Right now your most important challenge to overcome is encouraging yourself to be that person you want to be. It takes work you knew that, don't let any person make you doubt that you are anything but capable. This might be the most challenging time of your life, the way you go about this will set up the groundwork, the foundation for how you come against challenges, it might be a while before you can get up against a challenge as big as the ones that will come up towards you in the upcoming years. Do not ever react with anger, for compassion has been one of your strengths play into it but remind yourself that you can be compassionate and assertive about your needs and what you want. you choose how to react, if you react with anger it gets you nowhere. If you take the time to think it through, make sure to advocate for your need for space or time before you say something you don't mean or make a decision or take an action. You can manifest the anger into passion for everything that you want to do and need to do. If you cannot make productivity, don't sweat it, but in no way let yourself add fuel to the fire, be nice to yourself, understand that it is hard to unlearn the mechanisms drilled into you.





 *note to myself: My anger comes from a place of need the need to speak my truth and be unforgiving of those whose voice squanders mine. Remember that it is not everyone's intention to do this. Remember to count to any number before you say anything.