Changes come in waves

There are moments like these that I feel stuck that if i set motion in the same direction the results will be wrong
I think it is derived from a lack of faith in my vision
I can be a person who does things in spite of , I know I am still that person but lately I have let the emotional part of me make decisions while leaving my rational mind in the back burner
I know that the path that seems easiest isn't always the best
But I grow tired at moments and did not let my self properly rest, I have put on my shoulders the weight of others as sometimes I feel that any added weight my damage their backs, you don't know each person's strength nor do you know the exact weight they are carrying, sometimes I hardly realize my own. I feel that I could take away some of their weight before their back feels the weight but I forget that although I know what will damage my back that I forget that everyday things are piling up heavier weights. That I need to start focusing on piling up my weights and picking at each and one of them and realize that the pain that each has brought me has made my back just a tiny bub stronger and can carry that weight if it comes to it. Now that doesn't mean that I should carry more weight to build my strength but the weight that I'm taking away from either in the name of helping them might also take away their chance to build their back. It might feel right but I need to take into account that until I take care of my own weight, I can't pile up the weight of others for the sake of me and for the sake of them.